Hmm... today's bible study was about humility. When i started preparing for it, i still though of myself as a pretty humble person. However, some of the questions for self-reflection got me thinking... (I think, therefore I am! - hey hey!! i am an intellectual person!! *oops!* humility, my foot...)
The questions that poked me right between my eyes were:
1) How often do I say, "Please forgive me, I was wrong"
2) Would those close to me consider a humble person?
3) Am i critical of others?
4) Do i resent people who give me criticism, regardless of their motives for doing so?
5) Am I a confident person because I am a humble person?
OOWWWW!!!! Can you feel the pain?
Sigh.... I don't think I've done the 1st question enuf, answer to 2) would be NOPE!, i am super critical of those who happen to be doing something that i have expertise in (E.g. chinese), i hate people, especially those close to me, to tell me what i did wrong, and the last? that's a no-brainer...
I think God was too good to me... He gave me gifts & talents of singing, acting, language, counselling, positive thinking(ha!), understanding His Word, and many others! He gave me good grades and among other stuff, M! maybe it's His fault for my lack of humility....
Wait a minute~
Aren't those gifts & talents His? Then does that mean He can take them away anytime He wants to!
THEY ARE NOT MINE!!
Ok... think i need to change my mindset... I have to remember that they are all His! He is lending them to me so that i might be able to invest them and get many times more so that i could glorify Him! ah... *bulb lights up*
I remembered the last time I quarelled with M, I called him an "asshole". He got really angry and wanted me to aplogise. I refused even though i knew that name-calling was wrong. I was proud and didn't wanna admit my mistake...
The day before, i hit my sister even though i knew i didn't have a right to command her to sleep simply because i was angry with her. I have not apologised to her even up to now... How to do that? very paiseh leh...
But i am reminded in Proverbs 11:2 that "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
When i was a young christian, I asked God for wisdom. I didn't want to be seen as a fool...
I want to be humble! Oh God, help me!
Sunday, May 22, 2005
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3 comments:
juz apologise when you made a mistake too. :P
heh
well i understand about the sister.
and erm, well if calling him asshole occurred roughly around the same day he showed up 2 hours late then you know my view on that.
heh
sorry merf...but i seriously hate lateness......you've NO idea how tough it was to cope with that #@@%$#% situation of kc's concept of time as an elastic band that can be stretched.
and don;y worry, NO one like criticism =)
although, since i am far away enough so you can't scream at me...do think about keeping long hair again...you looked nice with it long
hmm.... i dunno abt the long hair thingy, adinahaes.... someone once commented that i look like a cocker spaniel with long hair coz of the way it's flat on top and fluffy at the bottom.... oh well... am seriously thinking abt it tho... trying my best to keep it long in time for Serene's wedding! =)
to merf: i shall TRY....
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