I've been tagged. *bleah*

Ok, i've procrastinated enough. Here goes..


*by the way, it gets a little gross... if you have a weak stomach, please do not read on. Lose your breakfast/ lunch/ dinner/ supper/ tea at your own risk!*



Rules of the game:

1. Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
3. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names.
4. No tagbacks!

One. I have a habit of digging my nose. Once it's full (or feels full), I have to do something to get rid of it.

Two. From upper primary till about sec 2, I practised to be a damn good liar. And succeeded.

Three. I always spent $1.10 everyday for recess (except on ECA days) on popiah and curry puff coz that combi was the cheapest.

Four. I ever dirtied my underwear (when i was an adult) coz of diarrhea *unexpectedly* and washed it in the toilet at City Hall MRT station. (ok, gross.... too much information...)

Five. During my upper primary, i didn't know what a sanitary pad was and thought it was similar to diapers. i experimented with it and realised... *'nuff said*

Six. I always think people are pointing the finger at me when things go wrong. so i always disclaim responsibility first... it still happens at times even now...

Seven. I would not eat fruits that cut by other people other than my family members or myself.

Eight. I used to fantasize about different guys being my boyfriend ever since i was in primary 5.

Nine. I knocked over a secondary school classmate's table coz he really pissed me off.

Ten. I always thought that growing up would make life easier. It has proved to be a mixed bag... I don't wish to be younger *yet* but i thank God that my life is as it is now.


People I want to tagged: none, but you're free to be tagged if you so desire... =)

Sorry, but i really don't like to pass on stuff like this... i dun even forward emails (with a few exceptions), so ya... don't quite feel comfortable to tag others.

yep, i'm done! Are you grossed out yet??

heh...

Exercise

I don't HATE exercise...

I just hate people bugging me to exercise and do so regularly.

Come on! It's my body right? Who cares what you think? (Maybe with the exception of some people...)

If I want to exercise, I do it for me! If I want to slim down, I do it for me!

It's me people will be commenting about the weight gain and all so get off my back already!

GRRRRR.....

Mysterious birthday...

My birthday came and went quickly...

So quickly that I didn't even feel like I was celebrating it!

I quarrelled with M 2 nights consecutively before the big day and it was rather horrible....

Then on the actual day, it was no wonder that I was in a horrid mood...

But suddenly, things got a little better...

And it got a little clearer why I was being so emotional.

PMS sucks!!!

Oh... And i got a mysterious birthday card today... It wasn't signed so I have no idea who sent it...

Someone let me know???

Losers...

I have been living in a state of denial for too long...

I AM OUT OF SHAPE!!!
*I refuse to say the "f**" word...* =P


So loser I must be right now...

It's so not easy I tell you...




Anyway, I feel like a loser...

Nobody likes me,
Everybody hates me,
I'm gonna eat some worms...

Ok, maybe I need to tell myself that not EVERYBODY hates me...

I am loved. I am lovingly and wonderfully made by God.

Just because *you* don't like me doesn't mean I deserve to be treated as an outcast.

Fed up.

Robogirl!

Dead tired...

As the title says, that's the state I'm in, both physically, mentally and emotionally...

Saw a friend's msn nick: "Draining very badly... Chingay drains." I think she's involved in it.

I feel empty. Like nothing's inside. I know many things are craving for my attention but I don't really feel like doing. I just want to find some place and hide. And read. And sleep.

Maybe I've been dredging the last of me for too long. Nothing's inside no more.

Need God, need healing, need refilling, need reinforcing.

When? Right here. Right now.

A whole new world!

We have our new home now! We collected the keys to our new flat on the 3rd of January and we can't wait to move in!

I can't say it's been very smooth. M and I have been squabbling over the most minute details, like what colour to paint the wall, which item of the furniture we should buy first, whether to do window grilles or not, etc... Sometimes I get frustrated coz he only listens to part of what I tell him and he asks me the question that I have already given the answer to... Sigh... I think God is wanting me to live up to the name I adopted now... Patience, my dear... I thank God that M's so patient and slow to anger with me... Or else, we might not just be squabbling but killing each other... Thank you, darling...

My dad was also angry coz he thinks that I value Jesus Christ higher than him... It's been tense around at home and I try to minimise the contact I have with him daily... It's no joke to be around someone who does not want to see you... I catch myself running down the list of people I might want to walk with me down the aisle on my wedding day constantly, but God tells me that I need to honor my parents. So what can I do? Stuck... Sigh... Must pray....

Faith that is tested is stronger than that which is not... I must persevere!

Anyway, some photos to share my joy!

Damned both ways...

Damned if I say anything, damned if I don't.

Damn! I wish life was easier...

I am She-Ra!!

I've been given the comment that I'm too effective. I'm too quick to do/think things that I tend to mother people.

Seriously, I have no idea that I was doing so. I only think that since I can do it, I should help out. But I guess that makes people around me feel redundant...

I guess I need to slow down and wait for others to do things. But I don't want to be a doormat too! What can I do?

The same person also commented that I tend to justify myself and my actions so much that it seems like I'm wanting to win the argument. I thought about it and I guess it would be really irritating if I were in the other person's shoes.

However, I also wonder... I am sharing things from my own perspective. It's not implausible that I would think what I'm doing is right. So is it me now justifying myself or is it actually the other person refusing to validate my experience? I actually feel quite sad now... I share what I'm feeling and thinking, only to have the other person throw it at me and say that I win already.

Sigh... Guess I'm not She-Ra after all... Can anyone help me?? How can I be a better builder/supporter of people around me?

Unwell

I've never been so sick before.

It all started on Wednesday. Don't know if I had been sick when I woke up but I know I was so by the afternoon. I thought I was hungry with my queasy tummy but that was so wrong.

The lunch at Long John Silver was my last for many days.

I was miserable. I felt like I wanted to die. Clutching my tummy the whole time. I thought it could be God punishing me, but no! He's too good to do that.

I struggled with breaths. Laboured breathing, now I know.

The world spun. Round and round and round it went.

Hungry, yet I couldn't stomach anything.

Thoughts of hospitals came a few times.

I realised that I am miserable when I am sick. No control, no power, no strength. I cried many times this period.

My body betrayed.

I don't want to be a pill popping machine!!!

I got to sleep now.

I can be alone... I think...

I just went shopping by myself today with my iPod and my bag... Managed to buy a $9.90 pair of PINK shoes from novo! Heh...

I also managed to resist temptations today.... So many nice clothes on sale!!! I'm proud of myself! hee....

Who am I (Part Infinity)

I am someone who lives with a lot of self-blame.

I am someone who has grown up with a lot of blame from others.

I am someone who had loads of internal rules and regulations.
*Do this! Don't do that! You should be like this! You shouldn't be like that!*

I am someone who grew up with a lot of rules and regulations simply because I was never taught how to deal with the emotions that come when things happen.

I am a whole composite of things that go wrong and right in my growing up years.

Sigh.