I'm sorry...

Dear Adinahaes,

I'm sorry for not meeting up with you while you were back... We did attempt to meet up but it was a series of mishaps that caused the lack of opportunity to meet up. Sigh... I'm sorry that we weren't able to catch up and now you have to be stuck in Australia for the whole year! Well, no matter what, do study hard and I'll be here if you need someone to talk to ok? Take care dear...

In God's Love,
Blubbering Nonsense

Sudden bouts of sadness

Have you ever woken up early in the morning and saw your elderly grandmother or mother preparing water, drinks and breakfast? I did so this morning and felt such a huge surge of sadness because I just could not help but have a mental image of my grandma lying in a coffin, gone. I couldn't help but start crying, coz I can't imagine something like this!

Just last Friday, while on course, the instructor was talking about a primary attachment figure that everyone will have. I thought hard for a while and the first person to come to my mind was my grandma!

I think it's the after-effects of the scare that I got last week when I received news that my grandma had fallen at the bus-stop near my house while she was about to go home. It was so scary since I had no idea what happened and my mother told me not to rush back. It was many hours later that I knew she was ok, just had to have lots of stitches on her chin. Good thing she's ok and that there were a few neighbours around who helped her up and all...

Thank God she's ok... I just went to take out the stitches with her just now. To hear her suddenly suck in air coz of the pain really made my knees go weak... Can't imagine how I'd be if she were to be really gone... Must pray for her so that I may see her in heaven eternally!

Moments of irritation

I really hate it when M tells me that I cannot buy something that I feel is a good buy. I saw this pair of pants from Mango that looks great on me. However, the colour is quite unconventional... It's those kind of blue that's really bright. But it does look nice! And it costs only $29!!! I mean, how cheap can that be? Ok, granted I got a pair of white pants from Topshop just the night before but that's not the point!! With my huge bum, it's so difficult to get good pants!! Argh!! I really really hate him now...

How does it feel...

When someone, who is not very nice, makes a comment which sounds innocent but does not seem to be so?

Lounge

My new home will have this... I miss having the time to laze around and read. I feel so deprived! Other than this, the room will be filled with bookshelves and it must have a great hi-fi system inside. Yups! it's gonna be mine, all mine!! Though I do have this nagging feeling that I would have to pack it ever so often... Or else, I think M will hit the roof! hee...

The Power of the Word

Ever had the experience with the words of a friend had hurt you so much even though they didn't mean to? You know she might not have meant it that way but it's still painful? And you can't really tell her that she's hurt you because no matter how you explain it, she's never get it?

Sigh...

Sunday's sermon was about the power of God's word. How God has spoken the world into existence. Also, how we can use God's word to pray prophecies, blessings, healing, and many other things.

I think words are very powerful. They can make or break a person. Guess that's why M never liked me calling him names and all. Well, really appreciate him teaching me things like this so that I can learn to love without using destructive words.

Thank you M!

At random.

It was the first time for the 5 year-old.

Hey! That was the place for the birthday party that kor kor was in! Mummy is saying something. Oh. I have to go into the class? Ok. Go home mummy... You have many other things to do. I will be ok. No, you don't need to be here. Just go home!

The room smells nice. But many children were crying... Why are they crying? Are they scared? Hey! Why are you crying? Don't cry. I'm not crying... Oh dear, I'm feeling a little scared myself. But I'm a big girl now! The nice lady in front is talking. What is she saying?

Ok, I better sit down.

Me? Leader? Ok! Give out the papers and the pencils. Collect the papers and the pencils.

*To be continued...*

Book Review - Wenny Has Wings by Janet Lee Carey

I was at Sans Bookshop today during the lunch break of my course when I saw this book entitled "Wenny Has Wings". I started reading it and just could not put it down.

It's about a pair of siblings who had gotten into an accident. The boy's sister, Wenny, died while he, Will, survived the accident. The whole book was a compilation of letters that he wrote.

The letters are like a travelogue, which details the journey of grief that the family went through. I couldn't help but feel my eyes brimming with tears that just came while also smiling at the different antics that Will got into.

Its simplicity of language, coming from the perspective of an 11 year old, pulled at my heart strings in unimaginable ways. Do take a read if you come across the book.

Bloggers.SG!!

Sucky Life

Suckiness in life is:

Not being able to attend your good friend's wedding;

Being left out of something fun that others are involved in;

Not being allowed to do what you are good at doing;

When you're made to feel second class or less than worthy;

Getting sick when you have to meet up with a friend you have not seen for a long time;

Staying home when you long to go out;

Losing money playing mahjong when you're already broke (or rather, you're not supposed to be gambling in the first place...);

Being cheated of your money by the girlfriend of your cousin (who fell out of love soon after...);

When you made a mistake that made you look bad/stupid in front of others;

Buying a mobile phone after months of waiting only to find a newer model coming out in 1 week's time;

Not being able to act in a play when you are really really wanting to do that;

When you're not invited to go to a chalet that your boyfriend is going to.

Mid-life crisis?

My dad asked me a weird question today.

We were watching a show where the female lead was upset with her dad for favoring males and thinking that all women have to do is to stay at home and give birth to babies. So they had this super big argument and the female lead dashed out.

So my dad then asked: "I'm not like that right?"

I was quite stunned... My dad doesn't ask such personal stuff... He normally answers our questions with grunts of assent or dissent. He also does not initiate conversations so this question came as a shock to me.

My response was, "Huh?"

So he pointed to the tv and repeated the question again. So I actually told him, "No. In fact I think you prefer daughters."

Then my sister butted in and they started to banter. Which left me thinking about this incident... I think if my sister didn't come in then, we would have been quite awkward. Also, what's making my dad so different? He's changing...

Only reason I can think of is mid-life crisis, where he is thinking of rescuing flagging relationships with his children. Well, he has been really chummy with my sister and I must say that I am quite jealous of the easy way they can talk and banter. But I guess he's slowing down and thinking of what is more important so that's good... Better late than never right? Heh...

Ok, I gotta go. I have 2 reports to write before tomorrow and I'm also tired... Just wanted to pen this down. Might analyse this another time.

Anybody wanna give your interpretation of this episode?

Several minutes too early...

Sigh... these few days have been wierd. Clients call us at the most awkward times. It's like they always call when I'm about to go home and rest. Yesterday was a client who wanted to commit suicide coz someone insulted her. I had to make an emergency home visit and the funny thing was that she resolved the issue herself.

Another client was upset that we didn't give her money and threatened suicide. So the team had to call the relevant authorities. Well, there'd be more follow-up to be done and I think it's gonna be stressful for everyone in the office.

Really need to pray for unity and strength to support one another in the office!

Well, God has been good and He has been encouraging the various people in the centre saying that we're at the centre of His will and that we are to be courageous. (Joshua 1) Yups, do pray for us. There'll be more tsunami-like waves to come...

I'm sick

Heh... I've been enjoying my iPod mini and also trying to find a different blogskin for this. It doesn't help that i've been sick. Was on MC for 3 days last week. Really bad sore throat with on-off fever is enough to make me feel like shit.

I think I've eaten more panadols last week than any other periods of sickness all added together. I kept getting this woozy feeling, like as if i wasn't there. Also, my head was throbbing like hell... So i was popping 2 pills at a time.

I have also resorted to drinking pipa gao every 10 minutes to try to moisturise my throat. It's been 8 days but thank God, my throat is now getting better. Was telling Xooplex that i think i'd rather have a racking cough than to have sore throat. It's terrible! Especially when I cringe in pain whenever I have to swallow anything. Sigh...

So anyway, was having some misunderstanding with a friend last week. I know that I was probably asking for it... Coz I can be very nosy and meddlesome so I guess it can get on some people's nerves.

My friend, F, was talking to another friend about something and i poked my nose in the conversation. So she said jokingly, "It's not your business leh!" I know she was joking but I couldn't help being upset coz I was trying to be helpful. And in her joking tone, I could also hear that she was kinda serious in meaning it. So yeah... painful.

Then later, F was talking about something and I asked her a question. She got quite upset as she didn't really wanna talk about that topic. I was just super confused lor... The question i asked was not very intrusive, but after some analysis with another friend, C, I probably didn't phrase my question properly. So anyway, we managed to clear the misunderstanding through email.

But I guess one thing i learnt was that I should not be so nosy in the future. So just do my own things and don't talk so much lor. That's why the bible says that we should be careful with our tongue. God gives us 2 ears and 1 mouth. For us to listen more and to talk less... Must learn! Bite my tongue if I have to!

Oh! On a more positive note, M, his colleague and I went to watch Mr & Mrs Smith yesterday! Brad Pitt looks so good in the show! Also, the on screen chemistry between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie is absolutely sizzling! I mean, I was really wondering if the rumour that the divorce between Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston was caused by her. But I guess we would never know right?